As I've been telling people, I'm studying the Gospel According to St. John. I've talked a lot about how much I'm gaining from this. Today, I want to tell a little story. For context, let's begin with a passage from the Gospel:
Jn 1:35-39 The next day again John was standing with two of his disciples; and he looked at Jesus as he walked, and said, "Behold the Lamb of God." The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Jesus. Jesus turned, and saw them following, and said to them, "What do you seek?" And they said to him, "Rabbi" (which means teacher), "where are you staying?" He said to them, "Come and see." They came and saw where he was staying; and they stayed with him that day, for it was about the tenth hour.
There's some beauty there, but I want to hone in on one tiny little detail. Notice, right at the end of this passage, that John recalls the exact hour when he began following Jesus. "For it was about the tenth hour." That's 4 p.m. in our way of telling time. But to me, it's significant that John remembers exactly what time it was. That's where my story begins. I've told bits of my conversion, actually reversion, story before. This morning, I want to tell it again. Just as John remembers specifically what time it was, so do I. When something changes in our lives: the birth of a child, the moment we fell in love, got married, or lost a loved one, the time is sometimes, somehow imprinted on our memories indelibly.
Last September 8th, between 7 and 8 p.m., I was doing what I often do, watching YouTube. I'd gotten burned out on news, and lost interest in a lot of broadcast and cable type programming. Instead, I watch stuff. I watch reaction videos, getting a kick out of generations after my own discovering the music that owned my teen years. I watch cooking, camping, travel, Italian language, and other stuff I like. YouTube's algorithm populates my feed with other, related, and similar channels and videos. There is no explanation within the algorithm for what happened around 7:40. None at all. I'd never watched anything similar, not once.
 |
| Google's AI did this pic for me, should I call it: Holy Spirit shines on YouTube? |
A video by a young woman, a woman named Justine Donahue, came on. She explained how and why she converted from an Evangelical Protestant to a Roman Catholic. Something in the first minute or so of her message had my attention, and I had no urge to hit the back button to find something else. Her story is a beautiful one. Her channel is called, Theology of Conversion. I'll link to it below. My wife, Caroline, came in from a women's group she meets with on Monday evenings a little after 8, right as the video was ending. I was sitting on the couch; I don't know that she could tell, but I was a changed man. At about 7:50 on Monday, September 8th, 2025, like St. John, I remember exactly what time it was — I was following my Lord and Savior Jesus, the Christ, again. It's not as if an interest had been rekindled and I was thinking about it. No, it wasn't that at all. I was all the way back.
As a Catholic, I do believe that in Baptism, there is an indelible mark, a seal, imprinted on our souls. We are invisibly branded: "I belong to Jesus." It stays with us forever. Faith may wane or go away entirely. But that mark, it remains. I make no excuse for falling away. I fell away for the same reason that I suspect most do: living as a follower of Jesus and a practicing Catholic can be inconvenient. I was about to say 'inconvenient as hell,' then I thought better of it, but maybe 'inconvenient as hell' is the best way to describe it. Sin is easier, more fun, and living sinfully is an easy place to find friends. It was 7:50 on September 8th, and I was back. What to do next?
First, I told Caroline something had changed and I needed to get back to church. After 20 years of wandering in a spiritual desert, I'm sure that was quite something for her to hear. Caroline has a faith I admire. Every morning, she spends a significant amount of time in prayer. For years I've watched and silently wondered to myself, 'Why aren't I doing that?' So, in addition to the Theology of Conversion video, there was the love of my life, for years, modeling a prayerful existence right under my nose, every day a little nudge I could hardly feel, but one I know was, even if unintentionally, real.
One other little 'nudge' I ignored was at the Catholic funeral of my dear Marine Corps buddy, legendary navigator, Red Hollwedel. It didn't escape me, there grieving his loss in a pew, that I would be ushered out in a similar fashion. Would it be just a meaningless show, or would my body there be home, in the place it is supposed to be as it all ends? I didn't recognize it, but the Holy Spirit was calling me right then. At least I did finally get the message.
By Wednesday the 10th of September, I knew the Confession and Mass times at the 3 closest Catholic churches. By Sunday, I'd been to Confession, attended Mass, and received Holy Communion. I ordered a new Catholic Bible off of Amazon, and my prayer and spiritual life began to take shape.
It's important to say, before closing: I was always a believer in Jesus Christ. I was always a Catholic. I was just ignoring it. For laziness's sake? For sin's sake? Honestly, I confess, both. But faith was there inside me, patient... waiting.
It all came together, all at once, all because the YouTube algorithm inexplicably brought things to a head while I sat relaxing on my couch. Inexplicable? You know what, I know there is an explanation? You know and I know it. When the Holy Spirit called, I heard. I listened. I took action. I'm really committed. I won't fall away again if I can help it. Not if I can help it, nope.
Has the Holy Spirit called you?
Did you hear?
Did you listen?
What are you doing or going to do about it?
Have a great day, friends. God bless.
No comments:
Post a Comment